Love Me, Love My Megalomania
The word or phrase that best describes my personality:
I am sort of a ridiculous person.
The best or worst lie you’ve ever told:
I don’t lie, but I occasionally play dumb.
Favorite on-screen sex scene:
Me and Grace Kelly. This wasn’t so much ‘on screen’ as it was ‘imaginary’.
Fill in the blank: _____ is sexy; _____ is sexier.
fruit is sexy; peeled fruit is sexier
My most humbling moment:
Rarely humbled; often mortified.
If I could be anywhere right now:
India. But not as it exists in real life, only as it exists in my mind.
Five items I can’t live without:
A good book, natural light, pretty girls, cussing, and five more things…
The celebrity I resemble the most:
God
In my bedroom one will find…
Books on religion, sex, politics, travel and how to write a novel. Two cameras. An Apple computer. A Wacom tablet. 24 Hour Party People, Boogie Nights, and Annie Hall on DVD. Design magazines. Change.
Why You Should Get to Know Me:
Because I’m mostly easy-going, but some people think I’m an asshole.
Because I used to be idealistic/cynical, but not anymore.
Because I think tomorrow will be better than today.
Because I’m funny and I might think you’re funny, too.
Because I solve problems.
Because I own tools.
Because I was raised by women.
Because I am the exception to almost any rule.
Because I sometimes spend more on the packaging than I do on the present, which sounds like a metaphor, or maybe even an innuendo, but it isn’t.
Because I can juggle.
Because I pay attention.
Because you’ll like me more in six months than you do now.
More About What I Am Looking For:
A girl who reads, sings in the car, and, on a good day, could kick my ass.
A girl who has a love of the absurd and air of playfulness.
A girl who is open-minded.
A girl who wants something that is not shoe related, in addition to any shoe related desires she may have.
A girl to get drunk with/grow old beside.
Something slightly life-altering.
(Circa 2002 Salon.com dating profile, saved for posterity, still mostly applicable.)
